At Hangover School, our main goal is to make you feel better when you are hungover. Possibly the best way to fight a hangover is to have the right mental state. Here are 7 things to keep in mind that are worse than being hungover. Hopefully this will put things into perspective for you!
1. Having dog poop smashed into your hair. Next time you are hungover think to yourself, at least no one smashed dog poop into my hair today. That will make you feel better.
2. Getting chased down an alley by a devil clown with a butcher knife. Next time you are hungover remember, being hungover and laying in bed is much better than getting chased down a dark alley by a devil clown with a butcher knife who is trying to kill you.
3. Having nine zombie children show up beside your bed in the middle of the night and start singing twinkle, twinkle little star. Even if you are hungover right now remember, at least nine undead zombie children didn’t show up at the side of your bed last night and start singing twinkle, twinkle little star.
4. Having a peg legged pirate dancing in your eyehole. No matter how hungover you are it is better than having a peg legged pirate dance in your eye sockets.
5. Sew back together your dog after it has been attacked by sharks. Say you are a level 7 hangover right now. That sucks, but at least your dog wasn’t bit in half by a shark and you are not forced to find its guts in the ocean and sew it back together.
6. Recurring nightmares of a hideous mutated donkey monster. Although hangovers are bad, at least you don’t wake up screaming in the middle of the night because you had a nightmare that a hideous mutated donkey monster was going to eat your brain.
7. Find a quarter with your mouth in a bucket of someone else puke. While you may feel horribly hungover right now, at least you don’t have to stick your head in a bucket of someone else’s puke to try to find a quarter with your mouth all open in the puke and getting the other persons puke in your mouth, and then you puke in the puke.
The point of this article is simply this. Being hungover sucks, but there are many things which suck more. Always keep this in mind when you are hungover. Hangovers SUCK! Hangover School.