Hi I am a Lobster, What am I?

We have written this post purely for your hungover amusement…

Hi I am a lobster. I move very slowly, in fact the only reason I can move at all is because I live under water. What they hell am I? I’m like a walking meal. My exoskeleton is full of great stuff to eat. I am flipping bright red, so you can see me from a mile away. The only self defense I have is these huge claw things and they totally suck.
They are all for show, I can’t even do anything with these things. I can’t hurt you, I can barely pinch you. So I am a defenseless, bright red, bowl of the most awesome stuff to eat on the planet. And I just wanted to say hi. If you are hungover be happy you are not me. My life sucks.

Well, talk to you later,

Lobster

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