Hungover in Oregon

snow-oregon-hangoverMe and three buddies decide to go to Oregon to visit a friend and do some snowboarding. We fly in and immediately bounce from bar to bar then end up at a rap concert. The concert is a blast but we’re a little tiered so we end up slamming like four RedBull vodkas each.

We wake up the next day so hungover. I mean so hungover… Hope in the car and drive up to mount hood. On the way up there I literally feel like I am going to die; just a horrible hangover. During the drive it begins to snow, hard. The snow is coming down in sheets and we can’t see five feet ahead of ourselves, complete whiteout conditions. Just then something jumps out in front of the car and we slam into it. Bam!

We all go ghost white. Did we just kill someone? Did we hit the freaking abominable snowman or like a freaking Oregon Chubaka? No one says a word. The hangover consumers our mind and paralyzes our speech. Shit, we think…

I hop out of the car. It turns out it’s a deer we hit. The deer actually looks like it feels shitter than I do. As I approach the deer it starts to get up. I back away slowly. The deer stands up and then kind of limps away down the road.

We get back in the car and everyone gets a little color back in their faces. We start heading up towards the mountain and drive for about 30 minutes without being able to see anything but white. We get lost but finally make it there.

We were almost too hungover to snowboard, but somehow we pulled it off. We only went on like 5 runs. But worth it I guess. We head back and all I want to do is sleep, but the guys want to go out.

We start heading out and drive by Burnside skatepark. I love to skate so I grab my board and start shredding around. An old brown Cadillac with skate stickers all over it comes tearing into the parking lot. Wheels screeching. Three crazy looking skater dudes jump out of the car and huck a beer bottle towards me and start talking shit. Guy says, “You don’t skate here when we skate here, beat it!”

I’m the only one skating. My other buddies are in the car so I run to the car. The guys start chasing me but they are far enough away so that I make it to the car and they are still about 20 yards away. We peel out and take off. “What the heck was that”, I say.

That night we went out and had a big night. The next day we wake up hungover and go to brewery’s all day. That night we hit a club. Our flight was leaving at 6:30AM the next morning.

After leaving the club we went through Taco Bell and ordered individual meals for each of us. One of my buddies decides to order 30 tacos. Right when he completes the order my other buddy opens the car door and pukes his guts out. BLAAHHH. It was the funniest puke incident I’ve ever seen.

It’s like 2:30AM at this point so we figure, hell, lets just stay up all night. We go back to the house and eat Taco Bell. Pack our stuff and have a few beers and then get to the airport at 5:30AM for our flight. Right as we show up at the airport we realize this wasn’t a good idea.

One of my friends is too out of it to even function. He is trying to hand his bag to people to check it for him because he doesn’t know what to do. My other buddy looks like he is about to pass out. And the whole time I’m just trying to keep everyone from being any weirder than they already are.

That flight was the worst flight I’ve ever been on. I felt so bad. I was so thirsty and all I wanted was water. But no one would give me any. When I finally did get some it was barely enough to moisten my sandpaper-like mouth.

We made it home. My buddy’s dad picked him up at my house. He took one look at his kid and just shook is head. My other buddy had to go to his brother’s engagement party. I guess he fell asleep on the couch in the middle of it while he was holding a glass of red wine and spilled it everywhere.

I went inside my house. Defeated and contemplating my life. I tried to recount the events to my roommate. He said three words during my first pause. “Go to bed.” I simply sad, “thank you.”

Submitted by Hungover in Oregon January 9, 2010

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