The Life of a Hangover: a Short Story

We always want to get rid of hangovers. Everyone’s hates them, people are miserable when a hangover is around. But have you ever stopped to think, “How does the hangover fee1.” In this post we analyze the life of a hangover, from a hangovers perspective.

It’s 12:00pm at night. Crowded bar in downtown L.A. Music is blaring. Man takes his 7th shot of Whiskey for the night. Just then, something comes alive.

“Oh, yeah. Keep drinking you drunk, disgusting party animal. I feel myself getting stronger by the moment,” says the hangover.

Just then, the man says to the bartender, “I would like a glass of water please.”

“Noooo,” says the hangover, NO! You are killing me.”

As the man drinks the water the hangover dies a little inside. But it holds on strong and clings to the liver for dear life.

I will not die! Thinks the hangover.

The man, feeling a bit drunk stumbles off to his house. When he gets home, he decides to drink a glass of wine before bed.

“Now it is complete,” says the hangover.

When the man awakes so does the hangover.

“Uhh, my head. My stomach! I feel like death,” says the man.

“I feel great!!” Exclaims the hangover! “I am in the prime of my life! Everything is perfect! I want to dance. I will seep into this mans head and dance on his temples! I will dank on his liver! I will dance all morning!”

The hangover feels amazing! But just then, the man walks to the bathroom. Sticks his head under the sink and begins to chug water.

The hangover, still feeling strong laughs as the man takes the first few gulps. But then, he begins to feel a bit weaker. Almost as if he were a pile of sand being washed away by the ocean.

“I feel as though I am loosing my strength… I can’t stand this rushing water,” comments the hangover.

Just then the hangover decides he is too young to die. “NO! I WILL NOT DIE!” says the hangover. He runs full speed into every organ on the man. “I will beat you!” the hangover screams!

The man… Experiencing a serious wave of nausea. Decides enough is enough. Just then he takes an extra strength Tylenol and lies back down.

Over the next 30 minutes the hangover is in full force. The man is agony, but the hangover feels as though he has never been happier. But soon, things change and the hangover begins to feel a little sleepy. Over the next 2 hours he can’t beat the man up, he can barely swing.

Feeling better, the man heads to a barbeque with some friends. As he is arriving the Tylenol wears off. The hangover immediately leaps forward and runs full speed into all of his body. The hangover makes a furious effort to destroy the man. The man begins to feel weak, he cant talk right. He contemplates leaving the party.

Something shines from the corner of the party. A luminous beautiful metal like that of kings treasure hundreds of years ago. “Is it?” “Yes it is.” Thinks the man. It is a Budlight.

The man races to the Budlight. The hangover kicks and claws trying to destroy the man. The hangover beats and bruises him. But he is too late. The man takes the Budlight in his hand. He cringes at the thought of drinking it. But he forces it down.

One sip, two sips. Half the beer gone. The hangover again joins the beach full of sand. He has not died, but he is back with his family. He was alone and now he is home. And the man feels better.

Note: What you have just read is the result of a very hungover person writing a story about hangovers. Hangover School appreciates the creative approach. Cheers to beers!

– Hangover School

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